I watched all the episodes of one of my favorite series, which is House, M.D., and here, I collated some of House's notable lines.
SEASON ONE
Episode One (Pilot)
[House and Wilson are walking through the hallway. All you can see is their hands and legs, showing that House is using a cane and limping.
House: See that? They all assume I’m a patient because of this cane.
House: I don’t want them to think I’m a doctor.
House: People don’t want a sick doctor.
Cameron: Dr. House doesn’t like dealing with patients.
Foreman: Isn’t treating patients why we became doctors?
House: No, treating illnesses is why we became doctors, treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.
Cuddy: I was expecting you in my office 20 minutes ago.
House: Really? Well, that’s odd, because I had no intention of being in your office 20 minutes ago.
Cuddy: You think we have nothing to talk about?
House: No, just that I can’t think of anything that I’d be interested in.
Cuddy: Your reputation won’t last up if you don’t do your job. The clinic is part of your job. I want you to do your job.
House: Well, like the philosopher Jagger once said, “You can’t always get what you want.”
House: Told you, can’t trust people.
House: Truth begins in lies. Think about it.
Foreman: That doesn’t mean anything,does it?
Cameron: And if we’re wrong?
House: We learn something else.
Rebecca (patient): It’s good to meet you.
House: You’re being an idiot. You have a tapeworm in your brain, it’s not pleasant, but if we don’t do anything you’ll be dead by the weekend.
Rebecca: Have you actually seen the worm?
House: When you’re all better I’ll show you my diplomas.
Rebecca: I just want to die with a little dignity.
House: There’s no such thing! Our bodies break down, sometimes when we’re 90, sometimes before we’re even born, but it always happens and there’s never any dignity in it. I don’t care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass. It’s always ugly, always. You can live with dignity, we can’t die with it.
"Patients always want proof, we’re not making cars here, we don’t give guarantees"
Cameron: Why did you hire me?
House: No, it wasn’t a racial thing, I didn’t see a black guy. I just saw a doctor…with a juvenile record. I hired Chase ‘cause his dad made a phone call. I hired you because you are extremely pretty.
Cameron: You hired me to get into my pants?!
House: I can’t believe that that would shock you. It’s also not what I said. No, I hired you because you look good; it’s like having a nice piece of art in the lobby.
House: But you didn’t have to. People choose the paths that grant them the greatest rewards for the least amount of effort. That’s the law of nature, and you defied it. That’s why I hired you. You could have married rich, could have been a model, you could have just show up and people would have given you stuff. Lots of stuff, but you didn’t, you worked your stunning little ass off.
House: You lied to a friend to save a stranger, you don’t think that’s screwed up?
House: I NEVER lie.
